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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?